Monday, May 11, 2009

Happy Birthday, Daddy

Today marks the day of your birthday. February 17, 2009 marked the day you entered your immortal life. I can't believe youre gone. There are so many things I wished I said to you, but I can't. It's over, youre gone. I miss you, although we had a bad relationship. It hurts that I will never be able to repair that broken bond. Gosh, I remember being a little girl running in your arms in your all white Navy uniform when you returned from overseas. Daddy, you was my everything. Standing 6'4, you would pick me up and I would feel like I was on top of the world.

When you died, I didn't have much remorse, but now, it's so different. It actually hit me, you will never return. So many things I wonder, like why didn't you call me daddy? Why couldn't you wait for a little bit longer until I got to the hospital? Why didn't we never talk about our problems? Did I remind you so much of you or was it that I was so much like mom? Why couldn't I forgive you earlier?

I regret holding grudges, and being so closed minded about men. Since you've been gone, I'm doing better. I'm growing and learning about me. I'm learning to let go, love and live life. Although you never taught me how to drive, told me about guys being no good, you did teach me how precious and valuable life is. You taught me to let go and just be. Our relationship may not have been great, but I will always cherish the good times I had with you. I love you, daddy. Always had, always will.

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